Double Minded

It is the middle of Annie's third nap period of the day. This nap typically runs from 2-4 with some sort of drama around 3-ish. I have stated before that we are trying to get Annie to sleep without "sleep props" which can include binkies, sound machines, rocking, nursing, etc. "How's that goin' for ya?", you might wonder. "Super!" would be my response....if I was responding to one of those judgmental uber-moms. But since I am pretty sure no one like that reads this blog, I will tell you the truth:

Each morning I awake resolute to the no prop campaign, and it usually works for the first nap of the day. By the second nap, things are ok and we might need the binkie; no big deal (this is, of course, assuming this nap is not taken in her car seat, in which case the car engine is considered a sleep prop-jerks). Then we get to the 3rd nap where usually some sort of prop is deployed by the "mid-nap freakout". This likely involves a sound machine in addition to binkie manipulation. Mild breach of protocol, I tell myself.

Well, as the day progresses and sleep becomes more and more of a chore, the prop number increases steadily, as evidenced by last night's bedtime activities. At this point in the day Rick and I have reached the end of our tether. There is a line-up of 3 different binkie options available for her choosing, the sound machine is roaring at levels which can likely be heard down the block, Annie is swaddled so tightly she can barely draw breath, our backs are crippled from the incessant rocking and I am hoping the muscle twitching in my shoulder is somehow vibrating her to sleep.

So the real answer would be "not great". At least I get it right once a day, which, for now, I will consider a victory. Tomorrow is a new day.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Adventures of Annie and Kaly

Annie and I have been averaging about one trip out of the house per day. This trip inevitably ends in her falling asleep in her car seat and then me trying to extract her with ninja-like precision from said seat...unsuccessfully. This is followed up by me spending the next 45 minutes trying to get her back to sleep. When I write this, I am beginning to doubt if these trips are worth it. No matter. It's good to get out of the house.

Yesterday Annie and I met up with my friend Lisa and her 3 week old boy, Charlie. We called it their first date. It was full of sleeping and crying. I have had worse first dates. I would have taken a picture, however people tend to frown on photographing wailing infants in public. They tend to prefer you spend your energy getting them to stop crying. So selfish.

Today Annie and I ventured to my office so the ladies can meet her. Again, she was a little fussy and made some of her trademark faces at one of my employees. The face was similar to this face:

I seriously may try to work this photo in each post from here to the end of time. Get used to it.

After seeing this face, Irene proclaimed, "I wasn't sure who she looked like until she made that face. She looks just like you when you are telling me I have done a bad job." I was both thrilled to hear that Annie looks like me and that my employees remember my scolding face in my absence. That's one less thing I have to worry about upon my return to the office.

5 weeks

She's very grown up now. Well, not really, but she is growing like crazy. I think she will be tipping the scales at 9 pounds at her next doctor's appointment in two weeks. She has officially outgrown three "sleep suits" (including the pink monkey pajamas-sad face). I briefly thought she might be ready to graduate to a larger diaper...until I tried the next size up and it went to her armpits. I then considered this to be additional coverage which could eliminate the risk of a full, up the back blowout the likes of which we experienced this weekend, however it left two areas of compromised protection around the legs. So we will remain in newborn diapers for now.

And in the greatest development, she is SMILING on a regular basis now. This makes her look like a completely different baby. While I will miss her scowly crinkled faces, I luuuuuvvvv seeing her beautiful face smiling at me. I occupied several hours today watching her trying to elicit a smile...

Time well spent.

Hit the Breaks!

I cannot believe it's been a month already. And what I also cannot believe is how big she is getting. She's now got some pudge brewing on the previously scrawny arms and she's getting better and better at holding her head up. I have even noticed that some of her newborn clothes are starting to get a bit snug. She's trading in her newborn squeals for little baby coos, which melt our hearts every time!

My friends have always been so great at taking monthly pics of their babies, complete with hand made signs. I know my limitations and that it would be much less likely to take monthly pics if I had to make signs too, so I found this alternative...

Almost a smile here...

Yay! I am one month old today! Where's my cake???

I have always heard people say how quickly time flies with your children, but I had no idea...

4 Weeks!

And the weeks continue to fly by. This past week was filled with a ton of action. Possibly a bit too much action. We had family in town starting on Thursday, so in order to see them, Annie continued to see the insides of various bars and restaurants, and she even attended her first art show! We were applauding our ability to do all this "normal" stuff and have our well-behaved baby with us all the while. That is, until Saturday night. Let's just say that the running around finally caught up with Miss Annie and myself and we both had a bit of a breakdown that evening. And because I don't learn lessons well, we continued to run around all day Sunday. Needless to say, Sunday night was not pleasant.

I guess what we have learned in the last week is that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should or that it is in the best interest of your child. Sure, Annie can stay up and have her 9:00 bottle in a restaurant, but it's not what is best for her right now. And Rick and I understand that we need to be doing what is best for her and nothing else. Hopefully she returns the favor one day when she's picking out our nursing home.

Here are some recent pics from the past week. Our girl is still a bit conservative with the smiles, but she'll give you a good one right as she drifts off to sleep. She also makes this "uh-huh, uh-huh" (similar to when people respond affirmatively, without actually saying yes) noise when she gets what she wants, which is now resulting in Liza and I making that same noise whenever we get what we want. And right now, Annie is resting and I am about to take a nap too. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

He's got it

I predicted that Rick would be a wonderful father in my letter to Super, however I could have never predicted just how wonderful that could really be. If there ever was a natural father, it would be Rick. He has unending patience and always swoops in when this Mommy is about to lose her mind from exhaustion.

Annie and Rick have a special napping bond. Nothing will guarantee a good sleep like some time on her Dad's chest.

Rick is also master of the bottle. And because I was crazy tired last night, he delivered several in a row so I could get some sleep. Like I said, he knows exactly when to intervene.

So today I would like to wish my beloved husband a happy very first Father's Day. Thank you for making our lives so much better by being Annie's Dad.

In the groove

Yesterday was a great day around here. I realized that Annie loves the bouncy chair (particularly after a feeding), which frees me up to do extravagant things like shower and use the bathroom with ease. I also realized that she can be calmed with running water. Sure, it means that I am raising an eco-terrorist, but these things are of little concern right now. I will make sure she makes up for it as an adult.

We did take a few steps back when I went back and re-read the sleep chapter in the baby book I had been reading. I recalled that we were not supposed to be using "sleep props", however I forgot that one of those props was rocking Annie to sleep. Oops. There's been a lot of rocking over here, and not the iPod kind. Of course, we have no rocking chair, so there are also a lot of sore backs over here. As this is all part of the greater plan to get Annie to be able to sleep through the night and learn to soothe herself, we will forge ahead in the effort to get her on a schedule and to sleep without doing 100 laps around the lower level of the house (my method) or while slow dancing her to sleep while listening to The Cure lullaby album (Rick's method). We did take a run at it last night and she only fussed for 10 minutes before falling asleep, so hopefully it won't be too rough a road.

And you might wonder how I was directed to this magical book about getting your baby to sleep. Well, I had a bit of a pregnancy guru that I tapped into about 10 times a day. I was/am blessed to find a person that is both hilarious and practical when it comes to pregnancy and child rearing. That person was Debbie and she also has a blog over at Team Botanical. As if blogging, working, tending to a toddler and a black lab was not enough, Debbie was also pregnant and gave birth to her sweet baby boy, Charlie, yesterday! Now I get to hit her up for child rearing tips as well. I am sure she's already got Charlie on a prop-free feeding schedule and has plenty of time to field my questions.

Congrats to Debbie and Chip!

Meds, anyone?

I remember thinking that pregnancy was a bit of a mind game, particularly in the beginning. There were days when I was miserable and knew it was from the pregnancy, and then there were days that I felt completely normal and became worried that something had happened with the pregnancy, and secretly wished for a bit of nausea or heartburn to let me know everything was ok.

Perhaps my personality is just prone to worry because I had a similar experience last night. After several wailing nights at bedtime, my Ricker brought our sweet, silent baby into the room and placed her gently in her bassinet. She was completely asleep and not moving and all of a sudden, I was terrified. Why isn't she crying? Is everything ok?

I then wrestled with the urge to turn on the light to check on her (even though I could hear her breathing). The turning on the light is akin to having the nuclear launch codes. If you flip that switch, you must be prepared to face the consequences of your actions. After talking myself down and realizing that she was fine and no light was needed to verify this, I started relishing the fact that it was 10:15 and I had a sleeping baby next to me, I was already in bed, and it was at least 2.5 hours until the next feeding....

....and then I was so excited I couldn't sleep.

Three weeks!

That can't be right, can it? Of course, when I look at her and see the little bits of pudge starting to form on her face, I guess I can believe it has been three weeks. Though, to be honest, the whole thing has been a bit of a blur so far. We have continued to have more firsts in the past week. We had our first restaurant meal at El Indio, which also included our first restaurant crying jag. I started to feel guilty for being "that family" with the crying infant in the restaurant, but then countered with the argument that if people wanted an elegant experience, perhaps a hole in the wall mexican joint might not be the best option.

We also had our first projectile poop experience, which happened at 3:00 am. This is real-deal parent stuff we have here. We have also had several three back-to-back diaper rounds, which is in and of itself an argument against cloth diapers. I don't know how those people do it. That would be a LOT of laundry.

I had both my first call to the pediatrician's exchange (the service you call in off hours) as well as my first trip to the pediatrician for something other than a well baby exam. Our sweet girl has been a bit fussy the past few days, and generally seemed uncomfortable and at times inconsolable. She wasn't sleeping well and when she was eating, she was so sleepy that she would fall asleep immediately, which became concerning after a day or so. I checked in with Dr. Eaton today and he said that everything was fine. Of course, now I feel a bit like someone who took their dog to the vet because it was barking. But at least now we have peace of mind that she's healthy and it's just a phase. And we don't need to worry about the eating just yet as our gal now weighs 7 pounds, 5 ounces! That's a 9 ounce weight gain from last week!

Last week I stated that she was not a big fan of being swaddled or the binkie. Well, that all changed one night last week when she refused to sleep. Had someone told me that the only thing that would put her to bed would be to wrap her in bacon and cupcake sprinkles, my response would have been "what flavor sprinkles?". In a moment of desperation we decided to revisit the swaddle blanket and it worked within minutes. We have also deployed the binkie (after trying several brands) from time to time to keep things under control. Or as close to control as we can get. It's all relative these days.

Annie at 3 weeks. Note these are the white monkey PJs, not to be confused with the pink monkey PJs.

Though it has been crazy, Rick and I are madly in love with this little baby. Each day has brought first, challenges, and glimpses of smiles, which are all it takes to keep us going.

Miss Clean

Today was a bath day. There is nothing better than the smell of a clean baby. Of course, there is nothing more terrifying than giving a baby a bath. So I guess it's a wash.

Ba dum bum.

Saturday Night Sleeper

Yes, we are still here, alive, and doing well. We are living in 3-4 hour increments between feedings and finally getting the hang of it. I'll save all the happenings regarding Annie for Monday's post, so this will hopefully hold you over until then...

Sweet fuzzy Annie shoulders. There is nothing softer in this universe and I will be very sad when the fuzz goes away.

Rick's good friend Justin came to town to visit today and took this picture. I realized there wasn't one of the three of us since we got home. I also cannot believe how small she looks in this picture as she seems so big to me now.

No witty remarks are coming to me right now. I guess that's one of the first things to go with sleep depravation. If you want to check back in on the blog in a few months once I get my mediocre sense of humor back, I will totally understand.

Never the same face twice

I swear, we took about 100 photos in 3 minutes and there are not two that are the same. And all are hilarious and only in one does she come close to smiling. Oh well. She is only two weeks old. In most of them she resembles a mobster. A sweet mobster.

Are you talkin' to me?

This is a sweet face.

This is as close as we got to a smile. I think she was about to sneeze.

You disgust me! No more photos. Where's that lady with the boobs?

I could post these pictures all day but I am sure you all would grow tired. I am thankful for our sweet baby that never takes a boring picture.

2 Weeks!

Though it seems like it's been one fairly long day, separated into 2-3 hour intervals of feedings, Annie is officially 2 weeks old today! Rick and I have started to hit our stride with regard to the nighttime feedings, which is wonderful. She really is a well-behaved baby and doesn't do much but eat, sleep, and poop. More sleeping than anything, really. So much so that we have had to switch to bottle feeding her at night as this is the only way she will wake up to eat any significant amount.

She had another doctor's appointment this morning and our gal is continuing to pack on the pounds. She is weighing in at a whopping 6 pounds, 11 ounces. That means she is up 3 ounces from her last visit, which averages about half an ounce a day. She doesn't do any fancy tricks just yet, though she's pretty good at holding up her own head, constantly sticking her tongue out at me, and making 1,000 different faces (most of which resemble a scowl). Shisha and I decided that several of her faces could qualify her as a stunt double for the old man in "Up". She hates being swaddled (I blame the IV the first few days of her life for this) and is not a big binkie fan.

The past week was full of firsts. I guess that's pretty easy to accomplish when you've only been alive two weeks. But nonetheless, I will list them here.

Annie had her first trip to Einstein's on Saturday. She made sure my bagel didn't have burned out holes in it.

We also took the infamous stroller out on a trial run on Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday night, Annie got her first bath/torture session. If you are ever in the mood to feel like a horrible person, give a newborn a bath. This is also a solution should you ever feel your life is devoid of shrieking. Some people have different needs. While the process was terrifying, she smelled so great afterwards that it was totally worth it.

Here is the aforementioned body fuzz that I adore. While cute now, I hope it fades by the time she hits high school. If not, I am sure they will have made advances in laser hair removal by then.

Annie sleeping. Again with the pink monkey PJs. I should note here that she has only about 5 pairs of pajamas that fit her reasonably, and these are one of them. I just can't seem to photograph her when she's wearing anything else. Don't judge me.

On a semi-Annie related note, I have also made the realization that having a 2 week old is pretty much a get out of jail free card for any situation. I never imagined myself to be one of those people that would venture out of the house without makeup, so imagine my surprise when I found myself unshowered, in the same clothes I slept in, shorts covered in breast milk and wearing TWO DIFFERENT COLORED FLIP FLOPS as I ran errands on Saturday. The beautiful thing is that because I had Annie with me, and Annie is very clearly a newborn, I garnered sympathy and not ridicule! I am pretty sure I could run down a bus full of senior citizens and get out of it if I had Annie with me.

Of course, it could also be that I just looked crazy and the people were scared of me. Either way, I'll take it.

Comings and Goings

WARNING: If you are grossed out by umbilical cords, stop reading now. I used to be one of those people, until my daughter had the cutest little cord business ever. Ok, well maybe not CUTE, but it was attached to her and I adore anything associated with this little thing, so indulge me. And I have no baby book yet, so these types of things will be documented here until that happens. And probably after that happens. If that happens.

So as you might have guessed that Annie lost her umbilical cord yesterday morning. For some reason, this makes me sad. It also makes me sad that the tape marks for my IVs and monitors are fading (I appear to have had a slight allergic reaction to the tape they used). I think the sadness is because the fading of these physical signs means time is passing and I just want to freeze these moments forever. So to capture those moments, I am photographing everything. Well, everything on Annie. I know she won't be this skinny, fuzzy little newborn forever. And lucky you, you get to see the choice pictures of these things!

The cord. This is also documentation that I did eventually find the pink monkey PJs I referenced in my birth story post.

Cord free. I am seriously demented.

Time is not just moving fast for the Erwin family. The Hagemanns had their eldest daughter depart for sleepaway camp today. Parker will be gone for two weeks at Kamp Kanakuk. And while we were sad to see her go, we are so excited for our little P-Nut and know she will have an amazing time.

And speaking of Parker, I had mentioned somewhere on this blog that it is not likely that Super/Annie would have the eyelashes of her cousins. I caught this pic of Parker getting out of the pool yesterday:

No Latisse needed for this gal (Latisse is the prescription medicine to grow longer lashes, FYI)

I think Annie currently has 5 tiny little blonde lashes on each eye. They are microscopic.

So maybe with the going of the umbilical cord, we'll get some growth of the eyelashes. Though if they never come in, she'll still be pretty cute.

A blur

Annie is 10 days old today and has officially been home for one week. This is hard to believe. Thursday night was a scary nightmare which resulted in Rick calling in the big guns and having my sister, Chaney, come in to help me figure this all out. Chaney was a huge help and provided excellent advise and snuggles to Annie so I could rest for a bit.

We had Annie's first doctor's appointment on Friday (5/27) and I was anxious to see what had happened with her weight. Thankfully, she had not dropped below her birth weight (barely) and weighed in at 6 lbs 7.5 ounces. Her birth weight was 6 lbs 7 ounces. Everything else checked out and she only minimally freaked out during the examination.

I did discuss my concerns regarding breastfeeding to the doctor and she referred me to a lactation consultant (not to be confused with a lactation counselor, obviously). Here's a bit of advice: if you plan on seeking help with your newborn, try not to bring them into the world before a holiday weekend. Needless to say, Carol the consultant was in Arizona for the weekend but referred me to Kangaroo Kids. Apparently this is where the counselors reside, which apparently is a rung down from consultant. Who knew there was such a hierarchy to breast feeding? Now you know. You are welcome (got it right that time!). As Kangaroo Kids was on the way home, Rick zipped us by there for a chat to see if we could get our latching issues resolved.

"Zip" might be a bit of an understatement. I should state here that I had never been to Kangaroo Kids, so I really had no idea what to expect. It's essentially a large retail space with a common play area in the back with some seating. Nothing fancy. I informed the lady that I needed help with breastfeeding and she led me to the couches in the back. There was also a group of parents sitting in the same area and children running around. I don't recall the order of events; all I know is that I was on a mission to get this thing figured out (I will not tolerate insubordination from my 4 day old). Next thing I know, Annie and I are both pretty much naked (me from the waist up) and I am trying to breast feed in the middle of this store. I guess this is pretty much the norm in this store though, because no one even batted an eyelash at the situation. Rick was super uncomfortable and used retail therapy as an avoidance technique and I didn't see him for about an hour. I later learned he was texting Liza info about the scene and all the names of the "free spirit" kids that were running around the store. So while it was a bit of a departure from my normally modest self, I cannot say enough great things about the people there. And apparently they sell really cute baby leg warmers based on the contents of Rick's shopping bag...

The rest of the weekend was spent entertaining guests at the house and then hanging out over at GB and Big Daddy's. Grandma and Grandpa Erwin finally got to hold Annie and Aunt Judy/Uncle Fernando/Cousin Michael stopped by the parent's house for a quick visit. Annie is a lucky lady to have so much family that loves her!

I have been spending my afternoons this week over with GB, which has been delightful. Annie gets some quality GB time and I get a chance for some much needed sleep!

Now for some pics of the lady. She makes so many faces constantly that it's like its own TV show. At least that's my excuse for staring at her constantly.

Here we have the very common "smoosh face". This has also resulted in me calling her smooshie or moosh. A derivation of this is just the furrowed brow, sans tongue. She apparently has lots on her mind. Anyone know a good infant botox guy?

This is the "I am about ready to go crazy if you don't feed me" face.

This is the angel face. We are starting to see more and more smiles, which will surely result in more retail therapy from her father.

This is typically what I am dealing with about 10 minutes into every feeding. I guess there are pros and cons to a sleepy baby!

So we are a week into this adventure, and it's been a bit of a roller coaster. We get a bit more sleep every night, which keeps us hopeful. I am going to try to get back into the habit of updating you all on her status on Mondays as she gets one week older. So long Super Thursdays!