Meds, anyone?

I remember thinking that pregnancy was a bit of a mind game, particularly in the beginning. There were days when I was miserable and knew it was from the pregnancy, and then there were days that I felt completely normal and became worried that something had happened with the pregnancy, and secretly wished for a bit of nausea or heartburn to let me know everything was ok.

Perhaps my personality is just prone to worry because I had a similar experience last night. After several wailing nights at bedtime, my Ricker brought our sweet, silent baby into the room and placed her gently in her bassinet. She was completely asleep and not moving and all of a sudden, I was terrified. Why isn't she crying? Is everything ok?

I then wrestled with the urge to turn on the light to check on her (even though I could hear her breathing). The turning on the light is akin to having the nuclear launch codes. If you flip that switch, you must be prepared to face the consequences of your actions. After talking myself down and realizing that she was fine and no light was needed to verify this, I started relishing the fact that it was 10:15 and I had a sleeping baby next to me, I was already in bed, and it was at least 2.5 hours until the next feeding....

....and then I was so excited I couldn't sleep.