Rapture Ramblings

Since my mother assures me that no one will know about the actual rapture beforehand, I feel it is safe to make light of the current discussions regarding the predicted "End of Days" that is supposed to be happening today. Of course, God, if you happened to schedule the legit End of Days today, I suggest you reschedule to really catch people off guard AND disregard any of the comments made in this post. If you do decide to read on, hopefully I will have given you some things to ponder about how this will all go down.

Rapture thoughts/questions/observations:

I love the thought of the world ending before Oprah gets to air her final episode.

Rick is holding off on mowing the lawn, just in case it does happen. I can rest assured that our unattended house will go un-looted in the event of a rapture, because it will appear that crazy people lived there or it was uninhabited for years, pre-rapture. We Erwins plan ahead.

What's the food situation in heaven? Because I would like to place a few orders for a repeat performance of this little number Rick put together this morning. For some reason, I imagine you don't get meat in heaven. Probably for the best.

While our pregnancy timing was seemingly perfect with regard to the seasons, it is not perfect when it comes to the rapture. If it happens today, do I go up in my current state (I hate to assume anything about my rapture status, but I like to think I am good with the man upstairs and choosing to be positive here)? Don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled to have made the cut, but being 40+ weeks pregnant for eternity isn't exactly my vision of heaven.

Which brings me to my next question...What about Super? She's never screwed up so clearly she's in. Does she get to grow up? The thought of having a newborn for eternity....well, see the above statement. Though I am sure newborns in heaven are a much more well behaved bunch.

Delivering this baby in heaven might be the only way I could pull off a drug-free, natural birth. Of course, there will be those women up there that steal my thunder and brag about how they gave birth naturally on earth, and how much worse it was, and how I will never know pain like the pain they felt....

Certainly there's no Mommy Competition (mompetition, thanks Debbie!) in heaven, right?

I am clearly falling too far down this rabbit hole, so I will stop here. We are currently 36 hours away from when we depart for the hospital to be induced. In case you can't tell, there's a lot more mental activity than physical going on over here. I am glad we decided to induce when we did, because I would likely be typing up some manifesto by Wednesday of next week if we waited any longer.

The end is near, indeed!