I WON THE LOTTERY!

No, not last night's mega millions Powerball lottery (which, I might add, was not won, and will be up to a cool $203,000,000; yes I am one of those idiots that only buys tickets when the jackpot reaches astronomical numbers). The equally important and impressive VENDING MACHINE LOTTERY!

I went to purchase a diet Dr. Pepper to go with my lunch, and what did I find, smashed to smithereens, under my can of DDP.....

"They" (in quotes because I have no idea who does this, never seen them, and the machine is miraculously replenished quite frequently, and I visit quite frequenly, so it would only stand to reason that I would have seen "them") recently upgraded our building's vending machine and we went from ancient Big Red gum and generic salami sticks to gourmet vending foodstuffs like pop tarts and Milky Ways. I feel the new machine has increased the value of our building by at least $100k. One of the new items are Red Hot Riplets, which are a St. Louis staple.

Having never really tried them, I figured this was a gift from the heavens. I was about to tear into the bag when I noticed a small detail.

Expiration date: 10/17/11. Ten days past due.

As my parents can confirm, I became a bit of an expiration date Nazi with the pregnancy. I blame Rick. Since I don't think a bag of Red Hot Riplets is something that perishes quickly, I estimate this bag was packaged somewhere around 1983. I feel this was the reason they were left to languish at the bottom of the vending maching collection area.

I guess it was too good to be true, but at least by not eating it, I won't have worn out my good luck for the next Powerball drawing!