There is one thing that has disappointed me about being a Mom. One thing. And it came as a surprise.
Other Moms. Not all other moms, mind you, but there are a lot of them out there that are seemingly lovely women, but not my cup of tea when the subject of all things Mommy come up. This primarily stems from the strange competition that seems to be between mothers. Stay at home Moms could never imagine leaving their babies in daycare. Working Moms can't fathom being at home all day long and not financially providing for their family. You will be judged on seemingly straight-forward topics like sleep schedules, vaccines, child care, and development. No one knows what is best for your kid like another Mom. Or will readily tell you that you are doing something completely wrong, even when you don't ask for their opinion. Here I was thinking I had joined this club of women that were bonded together by the love for our children and shared experience, but in reality it's a club that is filled with judgement, comparisons, and back-biting. It can be a real bummer.
I should clarify that I don't think these women are bad Moms or bad people. I don't even know if some of them realize they do it. Hell, I might do it. Or maybe the sharing of your experience with your own child just comes off as a competition if you happen to mention that Hayley was walking and reading by the time she was 7 months old as you eye my Annie gnaw on a book in her mouth as she crawls head-first into the coffee table. I don't know, but it all just really rubs me the wrong way on the regular.
For example, Rick came home and told me how one of his employees was lauding his 6 month old daughter for having sensory skills of an 8 month old. What.The.Funk? And for a brief second, I always fall into the trap...sensory skills? Annie certainly has advanced sensory skills too, right? I mean, I know she has senses, but they don't seem like spidey-sense. Maybe she's not developing properly? Perhaps I should see a specialist? Maybe I will google it? I'll just add it to the list of insane questions for the doctor at our next checkup, where he will most certainly put a note in our file that a close eye should be kept on this particular mother for several types of psychological disorders.
Where was I?
Yes, Mompetition.
It's prevalent and pervasive and it really bums me out. So when I saw the cover of Time Magazine, I would dare say I was enraged. And for a person who usually hovers around a 3-4 on the emotion-meter, this is saying a lot.
Being a parent is really hard. Moms put enough pressure on ourselves, and then we go and put a ton of pressure on each other. The last thing we need is some shizbag magazine fostering this idea that some women aren't "mom enough". Especially when it comes to the breastfeeding topic. I cannot see why a magazine would want to divide women on this issue or why any other Mom cares what another Mom is even doing, for that matter. It seems as if the article addresses the fears and concerns of parents in an age where there is an abundance of information available out there on how to parent, and EVERYONE has a strong opinion. But that's not what I get from the cover. The cover, to me, implies that it's possible to not be "mom enough" if you aren't nursing your child through elementary school.
If you love your child, feed your child, give your child a safe place to sleep at night, provide for your child, protect your child, teach your child what you believe is right and true, it's enough.
And to Time Magazine, shame on you for trying to rouse debate regarding which group (attachment parenting vs parent-directed) is "right". Why don't you be a real news magazine and shine lights on topics that really need to be addressed like childhood hunger or illiteracy instead of making parents doubt if we are doing the right thing? But maybe that cover wouldn't be salacious enough.
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