6 Weeks.

Dear John,

It was recently subtly pointed out to me that I have been slacking in the blogging department, and that you were the party taking the most direct hit with the lack of documentation of your early days. For this, I am sorry. The truth is, there is just so much MORE these days. More laundry, more picking up, more feeding (you like to take your time), more meal planning, more more more. But there is also a bit more appreciation this time around. With you, my beautiful second child, I am hyper aware of the fact that I will NEVER get this time back. This time with you where it's just us and I don't have work, and some days we don't have your sister, and because there are no degrees of warmth outside, we don't even have the pressure to DO ANYTHING, except to lay around and stare at each other and for me to take in every little bit of your beautiful baby self.

You really are quite handsome. What can I say? Your Dad and I make some pretty good looking babies. There are times you look so much like your sister did as an infant that I find myself calling you Annie. It's amazing how your brain recalls images that had long since been tucked away until you have something that brings it all rushing back.

And it did all come rushing back. How a baby's head feels tucked under your chin, how you have to be so so careful with their little tender bodies, how MANY DIAPERS you go through when they are this age, how it almost feels like it's not worth getting in bed at 11 at night because you are just going to have to get up in an hour and a half.

But with you it feels different. I feel more calm about what we are doing. Well, except for the breast feeding part. That took us a bit to get into a groove there. And that's an understatement. I might have had some sort of post-partum depression that manifested itself as a manic obsession with getting you to breast feed "properly". Once I bent myself to your will, things turned around and we have been much better since. Never get in a fight with an infant. You will lose and it won't be pretty.

Don't let my lack of writing about you make you think I have not wanted to. I have written 100s of posts in my head about nursing, differences in baby #2 from your first, priorities, obsessed big sisters, the holidays, etc., but every time I think about putting you down and picking up the computer to write one, you win. Every time. So while you were neglected on this blog, you were definitely not neglected in real life.

I have two more weeks of maternity leave. I am not sure where it went. I am struggling between trying to jam all the little projects I have wanted to complete into those two weeks and then wanting to hold you and snuggle you the entire time.

But I will keep reminding myself that the sorting, folding, and cleaning (and blogging) will always be there. But my little baby-my last baby-won't be this tiny baby for long, and the rest can wait.

I love you, sweet boy.

~Mom