8 Months

Dear Annie,
You are eight months old today. You are a rolling, squirming, squeaking, squawking, babbling, eating machine. You don't sit still for very long these days, which will make your third trip to Miami in a couple of weeks a real test of your temperment. You have started to develop some very concrete likes and dislikes. You have declared your hatred for a particular brand of organic baby food, which I find amusing. You will eat dirt off the floor, but not Earth's Best Baby food. Go figure. You LOVE puffs. You will scream when you hear the rattle of the jar and have gotten really good at feeding yourself. Sure, every once in a while there will be one that doesn't make the mouth and gets mashed into your hand and slides down your sleeve, only to be found later that day. You are most certainly NOT allergic to peanut butter and would eat that all day if we let you.

Your great love is water. You love baths and have to be watched like a hawk or you will surely use one of your stacking cups to gulp down HUGE cups of bath water. You drink water out of your beginner sippy cup and that alone will occupy you for long periods of time. You even love it when I wipe your face because the cloth has water on it.

You are unbelievably sweet. I call you the "Baby Ambassador". People are constantly stopping and talking to us about you. You smile and babble at everyone. On Sunday you were leaning out of your high chair (which was disinfected within an inch of our lives) when we were at lunch to "chat" with the table of older gentlemen that were trying to watch the football game. By the end of our meal, you had won them all over and they were telling tales of their children when they were younger instead of watching the game.

I already feel like you are getting too big. You are on the verge of crawling and do a little scoot backwards and still use rolling as your main form of transportation. You have a little more hair these days and it is still a sandy blonde. Your eyes are a beautiful bright blue and it looks like they are going to stay blue.

We broke in the jumpy seat on Sunday. It was a huge hit and allowed us to clean the upstairs while you bounced your little heart out.

You are also about to grow out of your pumpkin car seat, so we gave the cart at Target a trial run in anticipation of no longer having you contained. You thought you were very cool and loved smiling at everyone that walked by. Again, about 1 zillion wipes were used prior to this voyage. I think my paranoia is well-founded.

I hope 20 years from now, I still remember your squawky way of "talking" to us in your own little baby language, your fine little baby hairs that tickle my face when I put you to sleep each night, the way you grab my shirt and hold on tight when we walk down the stairs, your sweet "kisses" which are part head-butt and part slobbery lick, how you lift your arms up when you want to be held, and how you kick your legs up and down when you get really excited. I am sure that time will fade all of this, but for now, I plan on soaking up as much baby love as possible and hope that lasts a lifetime.

Love,

Mom

Too Full For Fitness

Rick and I have been really great about working out. We've been getting up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 and hauling ourselves downstairs to complete a circuit training DVD before Annie wakes up. It's really endless glamour at our house. I think we've made it 5-6 days a week for the past month or so. Until this week.

When I rule the world, I will make it illegal to work out on Mondays. Getting up for work is hard enough. Getting up extra early to work out might be a sign that someone is criminally insane. We had indulged a bit on Sunday whilst pretending to watch football. When the alarm went off on Monday morning, Rick and I lay perfectly still and avoid eye contact (this is easy because it is PITCH BLACK because it is practically the middle of the night) because if I see him, I will be forced to get up.

R: Do we do this?
K: mrrrrrrblaaahhh
R: Kaly, do you want to get up?
K: Let's think about it for a minute.
few seconds pass, I fall back asleep
R: K, are we getting up? (he's probably so annoyed with me at this point that he won't be able to sleep any more, but I am so out of it I pay it no mind)
K: What? Today? No. I am too full from yesterday.

Yes, that's right. Too full to work out. Most people would use that as an excuse TO work out. Not me. I need optimal conditions which were not being met on that particular morning. We swore we would get back on the wagon this morning, but I think my body was too tired from processing all that food. We also had a huge storm in the middle of the night (actually 2 hours pre-workout wake up time) which required a trip with Annie to the basement. Know who actually likes to be woken (is that a word?) up at 3 in the morning? Babies. They think it's really cool. So cool, that getting back to sleep is optional. I blame nature for missing this morning's workout.

We vowed to workout this evening, come hell or high water, then get back on the morning routine starting tomorrow...unless something dire happens like me sleeping on my wrist wrong or having a nasty case of bedhead.

It's Over!

Some of you may recall this post where I declared my intent to stop breast feeding Annie. Well, when I said "about to be closed", apparently I meant over three months. I had set an arbitrary personal goal of six months to breast feed Annie. I met and exceeded that, which feels great. I had expected to feel guilty about stopping, but thankfully she had started to be so squirmy and distracted during feedings that it really made it easy. Given her track record, I don't know why I am surprised that Annie made something easy for me.

Clearly Annie's ok with it.

Yesterday was my first full day without anything to do with breast feeding and it felt wonderful. I didn't worry about the glass of wine (or 3) I had before I went to bed. I ended the evening reading a nice book instead of searching the internet on my phone while pumping. It's a strange transition to go from about a year and a half of worrying about every little thing I put in my body to closing up the ecosystem. In addition the freedom I am feeling, I have also noticed that my body has decided to shed a few pounds it has been hanging onto for the past few months. I attribute this to the fact that I was constantly starving while I was nursing Annie. Or now that certain parts of me aren't quite so huge, I can finally work out. So that's a nice bonus.

I feel a strange sense of accomplishment having lasted as long as I did, especially thinking back to the early days of pumping in my car at work. I know some people go much longer than I did but it just wasn't in the cards for us. I loved providing for our baby for 7 and a half months and it was an experience I will treasure forever. I feel like Annie was ready to move on and I know Rick's ready to be able to have more time with her.

I think I'll celebrate with a glass of champagne. Or a bottle.

Quarantine

I have never been a germaphobe. Until now. We took Annie out to dinner on Friday night and since she's such a big girl and is so good at sitting up, I figured we would try our hand at letting her sit in the high chair. As this was sort of an impromptu idea, I didn't have any disinfecting wipes with me. No matter, those things are for people with OCD and trips to Mexico.

Look at me, Mom! I am so big! I am so excited that you can't even see my hands. You might miss it when I rub them all over this disease infested chair.

If this isn't the saddest picture you have ever seen, then you have seen some sad sh!t. This was AFTER we were able to clean the goopey-goo out of her eye enough so she could open it. I may or may not have cried when I first saw it. We were able to get in to see Dr. Eaton who gave us drops that had things clearing up by bedtime. Despite her pathetic look in this picture, she didn't really seem bothered by it. I think here she is just wondering why Mommy is wailing about the 3rd world conditions at a certain Irish Pub in Webster Groves. I am still debating on contacting the CDC.

This is after two rounds of drops. I would like to take a moment here to comment on the procuring of the drops and issue a stout congratulations to Schnuck's pharmacy for making the bumbling half-witted employees of Walgreens look like efficiency experts. Really, Express Scripts???

We were all good by this morning. The lid is a little pink but other than that, the ebola of the eye seems to have left the building. Rick and I are now armed with the strongest disinfecting wipes we could find and should have minimal amounts of skin left on our hands from the constant washing and sanitizing we have been and will continue to do in an effort to never have to see that unbelievably sad face again.

Fancy Friday

Annie is apparently ready to ring in the weekend with her self-designed off the shoulder sleeper.

I can't blame her for wanting to show off that delicious arm. I hope you all have an equally fancy weekend!

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT/LYRICS

So we might be onto something here. We've had our first official request for a lyric break down from Debbie over at Team Botanical. As we all were, as a child Debbie was blind to the darker side of my dear, sweet Kenny Rogers. She asked that "Coward of the County" be evaluated. Patrick again worked his magic.

Everyone considered him the coward of the county.
-honestly, i'm surprised i ever got past this. seems like a really weird thing for a community have have consensus on, no? was there a vote? was it a category for 'senior superlatives' in the yearbook? hopefully tommy won something offsetting, like 'best hair'.
He never stood one single time to prove the county wrong.
-how many opportunites were there? were there that many tests of courage? was this ancient greece? i don't think they had counties in greece.
His mama named him Tommy, the folks just called him yellow,Something always told me they were reading Tommy wrong.He was only ten years old when his daddy died in prison.
-gritty. at this point, the song is doing an excellent job of building street cred.
I looked after Tommy 'cause he was my brothers son.I still recall the final words my brother said to Tommy:
"Son, my life is over, but yours is just begun.Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done.Walk away from trouble if you can.It won't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek.I hope you're old enough to understand:Son, you don't have to fight to be a man!"
-so....here is where i start to not get it. that's the advice?? i mean, i doubt tommy's dad was in prison long enough to die there...for fighting? how about "don't rob a bank", or "always check to see if the buyer is wearing a wire"?

There's someone for evr'yone and tommy's love is Becky.
-there's a pretty heavy implied insult in that-'even tommy can get a girl'. nice uncle.
In her arms he didn't have to prove he was a man.
-ummm...am i the only one thinking what i'm thinking here? let's move on: things are about to get ugly.
One day while he was workin' the Gatlin boys came callin'.
-wasn't there a country group called the gatlins? is this some sort of country music feud thing? that'd be cool.also, 'came callin' maybe the creepiest euphemism for ape-ray that i've ever heard. i'd love to know what i thought was going on here when i heard this song at eight years old.
They took turns at Becky... there was three of them!
-i doubt that exclamation point was in the original lyrics.
Tommy opened up the door and saw his Becky cryin'.The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand.
-the dress really sent him over the edge. again, am i the only one asking the question about tommy?
He reached above the fireplace and took down his daddy's picture.
-becky's thinking, "little help over here?"
As the tears fell on his daddy's face, He heard these words again:
-ladies, help me out. you just got 'called on', boyfriend comes in and cries on his father's photo. he might have also been the most self-involved man in the county.

"Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done.Walk away from trouble if you can.Now It won't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek.I hope you're old enough to understand:Son, you don't have to fight to be a man!"
-getting more and more negative on tommy. did he really wonder if this is what his dad meant? "let the girl get called on, son. you can get her a new dress and you'll stay out of prison"
The Gatlin boys just laughed at him, when he walked into the barroom.
-"hey, guess what we just did!" very very rough crowd, these gatlins.
One of them got up and met him halfway 'cross the floor.When Tommy turned around they said, Hey look! ol yellows leavin'.But you coulda heard a pin drop when tommy stopped and locked the door.
-that's a fire hazard. just saying.
Twenty years of crawlin' was bottled up inside him.
He wasn't holdin' nothin' back; he let 'em have it all.
When tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin'.
He said, this ones for Becky, as he watched the last one fall.
-i would think that would be understood. "that was for stealing my lunch money in the fifth grade. i'll be back later to talk about becky's torn dress.
"Twenty years of crawlin' was bottled up inside him.
He wasn't holdin' nothin' back; he let 'em have it all.
When tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin'.
He said, this ones for Becky, as he watched the last one fall.
And I heard him say,
-you heard him? where were you during all of this, you big chicken? definitely worst uncle in the county.
"I promised you, dad, not to do the things you've done.I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please don't think I'm weak, I didn't turn the other cheek,
And papa, I sure hope you understand:Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man".
Evr'yone considered him the coward of the county.

Generous Birthday Boy

There was some confusion on the internets regarding the 1/3/12 post about the song lyrics. Firstly, I got the song wrong and Patrick actually had ranted about that innane "Moves Like Jagger" song. B) Some didn't catch that I was being sarcastic in saying that it was Patrick's favorite song (though i do love that people would think that I would rip apart his favorite song on his birthday), and 3) I copied those lyrics from the internet. I don't love the song so much that I knew all of that by heart. Though in a cruel twist, thanks to that post, that song has been stuck in my head for the last 48 hours.

Because Patrick doesn't want his birthday to just be all about him, I received this email from him yesterday:
"elvira" -the oakridge boys
Eyes that look like heaven, lips like sherry wine
-is sherry a type of wine? also, i always thought this line was 'cherry wine'. seems like that would be sweeter.
That girl can sure enough make my little light shine
-listening to this now as an adult, i think this might be dirty. but i'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt
I get a funny feelin' up and down my spine
-i think i was right about the dirty thing
'Cause I know that my Elvira's mine
So I'm singin' Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
-i always thought this line was 'my house is on fire'. and i should admit that i also thought the name of the song was 'lil' fire-up'. i know-it makes no sense, but we all make mistakes. and...there is fire in the song! anyway, i've learned my lesson. the hard way. 8 year olds can be cruel. let's move on.
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
-so...i used to think that this part of the song was kind of a 'doo-wop/showcase for the deep voice guy' section. which i get. but now...i think this is the noise that they make when they see elvira walk by. kind of a redneck construction worker whistle. which is inappropriate, since she is about to be engaged(as we'll find out later in the song).
Heigh-ho Silver, away
-what? first of all, is this spelled right? it reads like 'hey-hoe silver'. in the song, it sounds like 'hi-yo silver'.secondly, what does this have to do with anything? a horse riding reference? is elvira the horse? this is starting to seem really dirty.
Tonight I'm gonna meet her at the Hungry House Cafe
-a lot of people don't know that this is actually a typo. it's supposed to be 'waffle house'.
And I'm gonna give her all the love I can
-again. 'love' should be 'waffles'
She's gonna jump and holler 'cause I saved up my last two dollars
-i hate to nitpick, but do you 'save up' your last two dollars? i would say, 'i managed to hang on to my last two dollars'. saving the last two is like a deathbed confession. "i'm gonna wait until the money is almost gone....and THEN i'm gonna start saving!". really, saving is something else entirely.
We're gonna search and find that preacher man
-so...does the preacher man charge two dollars? or is that for the honeymoon? was this song written in 1904? where do you live? how much were those waffles???
Now I'm a singin' Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away

I am thinking of starting a new blog.

This goes out to you, Happy.

Tomorrow is my brother Patrick's 41st birthday, and to honor him on this special day, I will break down his favorite song: Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine. My comments are in italics.

My heart's a stereo

Got it, heart=stereo
It beats for you, so listen close

When you say "it", I am assuming you are referring to your Stereo Heart, as featured in the title of the song. So clever.
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te

No-o-o
Make me your radio

I thought you were a stereo?
And turn me up when you feel low

I don't think this will make me feel better.

This melody was meant for you

No thank you.
Just sing along to my stereo

Sing along to your heart? I think you have lost track of your metaphors.

[Travie McCoy:]
Gym Class Heroes baby!

Who?
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf

Here we go again.
Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else?

Yes, I would blow you off. Just like everybody else.
If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that?

So now you are a record with needs? Excellent.
Like yea f-ed up, check it Travie, I can handle that

What?
Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks

Maybe if you didn't ask so many people to scratch you, there would be less skipping.
It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks

You know you aren't a record, right?
I used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that

Over what? What are you talking about?
'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts

This makes no sense.

If I could only find a note to make you understand

Seriously, try to make me understand!
I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand

I might murder you if you did this.
Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune

Are you talking about the note to make me understand? Can you please stop using the word "it"?
And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you

I hate you.

[Chorus:]

See above
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo

Sing "oh oh oh" to your heart? Or did you forget you JUST SAID it was a stereo?
Oh oh oh oh so sing along to my stereo

[Travie McCoy:]
Let's go!
If I was an old-school fifty pound boombox

Way to reference something that is unknown to most of your demographic. Nice work.
Would you hold me on your shoulder wherever you walk

Dumb.
Would you turn my volume up in front of the cops

Why are we bringing the cops into this? You really lost me with the boom box thing.
And crank it higher everytime they told you to stop

This is a stretch.
And all I ask is that you don't get mad at me

Yes, because people get mad at their boom boxes all the time. It's a common problem. Douche.
When you have to purchase mad D batteries

You have really committed to this metaphor that AGAIN makes zero sense. Congrats. You are an idiot.
Appreciate every mixtape your friends make

I agree, you should appreciate every mix tape.
You never know we come and go like on the interstate

Like what on the interstate? Mix tapes or friends? Boom boxes? Double D batteries? Jerkface.

I think I finally found a note to make you understand

Doubtful.
If you can hit it, sing along and take me by the hand

Stereos don't have hands.
Just keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune

You know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you

F-you.

[Chorus:]

Someone please shoot me.
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh so sing along to my stereo

[Bridge:]
I only pray you'll never leave me behind

It's probably going to happen.
Because good music can be so hard to find

I couldn't agree more.
I take your head and hold it closer to mine

Are you trying to kill me?
Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind

This song makes me hate love. And stereos.

[Chorus:]
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo



Yeah

Nope.

Happy birthday, Big Brother. We love you with all of our stereos. Hope you have a great day.