Tips on Potty Training

I feel fairly comfortable saying now that Annie is potty trained. She still sleeps in a pull up but wakes up dry about 99% of the time. I think the urge to use the bathroom is why we are blessed with 5:45 am wake ups, but that's another issue.


I read about every item available on the internet about potty training. They all had various and conflicting tips:


Praise and reward going on the potty!
Don't make a big deal about it, this is a normal human function!
Only go in the bathroom!
Put a training potty in every room of your house, and your CAR!


I was hellbent on getting Annie potty trained before John arrived. Rick and I would spend weekends in the house with annie just in her underwear, periodically soiling various pieces of furniture (thank God for hardwood floors!). She would occasionally poop in the potty but really just didn't seem to "get it". I should also mention that we have one bathroom in our house. And that one bathroom is upstairs. I was originally against the training potty and wanted Annie to learn to go in the bathroom, so imagine a hugely pregnant woman trying to sprint up the stairs, holding a 35 pound toddler that is mid-urination.


I gave up trying about a month before John was born. At that point I figured she would regress after the baby got here and what's the point? All the internets had also told me that "when they are ready, they are ready", but I had just ignored that little gem up to that point because I love nothing more than trying to bend a toddler to my will. It's very easy and rewarding work. And I inwardly doubted that there was any chance a child would, on their own without constant prodding from their parents, willingly just start using the potty. I mean, in what world does that happen?


I joked that she would pick the absolute worst time to decide she was ready start potty training: right when the baby got home.


Be careful what you joke about.


So about 3 weeks after John was born, guess who started taking an interest in using the potty?


Here's the good part: she really did just kind of start on her own. One day, while I was nursing John, I heard Annie call out "Mommy, I went potty!!!". I took this to mean that I needed to change her diaper. I finished up with John and went into the other room, and to my shock and awe, Annie was standing next to the potty, pants and pull-up down, and #1 in the potty.


Surely this was a fluke.


But it kept happening. Sure, there were some set-backs and accidents, and I still get nervous going to places where I don't know exactly where the bathrooms are, but I feel like we are out of the woods on this particular issue. So, in my effort to help future parents with potty training, here are my "tips":


-Put a potty in every room of your house. Possibly two in rooms that are larger than an average size room. Get over the fact that someone will likely be pooping in the same room where food is prepared (thankfully, given the size of our house, we have avoided having a potty in the kitchen, though it was considered at a point).


-invest in a LOT of candy. And booze. Most of it is for you. Reward going on the potty. Don't worry that you will have to give them candy for the rest of their lives. It stops eventually. Though I do find myself craving skittles every time Annie pees now.


-forget about dignity. At some point, you will be at a park and the bathrooms are still inexplicably closed even though it's mid-April and the playgrounds are packed and your child will start showing the signs that a poop is on the horizon. Driving home is not an option and you don't have a change of clothes (see: Be Prepared below). It's time for the public deuce. I had seen this executed by my nieces on the side of the road and once, impressively, off the side of a boat (stay classy, Loyd/Hagemann/Erwin/Harkins family!), but never really thought about it myself. Thankfully, children require very little persuading to poop outside of the house. So this is more about you and your dignity. But if you have given birth, it's likely you don't have a shred of dignity left, so this will seem like no big deal. It will happen. If you know the bathroom is locked, scout out a semi-private poop spot ahead of time and be prepared to bolt at the first sign of butt clenching. Relieving yourself outside is really a life skill, so just think of it that way and try really hard not to make eye contact with any of the other mothers on the playground post-poop. They know what you just did.


and the most important one:


-BE PREPARED. Always, always have with you a change of pants, underwear, wipes, training potties, and Xanax. And if you are so inclined and very disturbed by the public poop scenario described above, rent a trailer and a port-o-potty to haul around behind your minivan.


And I guess I should end with the advice that I ignored but seemed to be most accurate: you can't force it. They will get it eventually and it's not worth the struggle to force the issue.


Happy Potty Training!!!!