Roommates

John had his 4 month checkup on Friday (16lbs, 4.5 oz, 26 inches long, and head circumference of 17 inches). Doc confirmed he is still perfect. Well, perfect except for the fact that he is a human booger making machine. I mentioned that my fear of him choking on his own snot (something that actually happens in the night with him-awesome) was keeping me from moving him out of the bassinet. Dr. Eaton kind of balked at the notion that John was not in a crib yet and advised we should move him over in the next month or so.

I knew this needed to happen, for no other reason than the fact that he had about a quarter inch of clearance on either end of the bassinet.

We had fears that since he's still swaddled, he wouldn't be able to defend himself against his big sister, should she decide that he needed an extra pillow or blanket in the middle of the night. And then there were the general fears about them waking each other up in an endless cycle over the course of the night.

By Saturday, I had convinced myself that we were ready to do this. I had warned Annie of the dangers of climbing on the crib (the words "it will fall over and smash you" might have been used) and felt fairly confident after viewing the fear in her eyes that my message was received. I chose to focus on the damage she could do to herself rather than her brother, should she decide to climb the crib and mess with him, because I am fairly certain talking about "things to not do to John", she would just hear "things to do to John".

We put John down first and he was asleep 20 minutes before Annie joined him in the tiny room. She is incapable of whispering. Her whisper is somehow louder than regular toddler speech (which is louder than normal speech). Apparently she thinks whispering is screaming, but with your hand cupped over your mouth with a raspy voice.

John woke up.

Then Annie wanted to see that he was awake.

We refused.

She broke down.

I got John back to sleep.

I got Annie back in bed.

She then had to use the potty.

John woke up from all the potty commotion.

I then took John out of the room.

She broke down.

I contemplated if it would be quicker to sell our house and buy a new one with 3 bedrooms or just add on a room.

Threats were made.

I was sweating.

Rick then stepped in. She knows it's serious when Dad gets involved.

Rick put John in his crib and got Annie in her bed and then sat in the room until both were asleep.

We did the same thing Sunday night as well.

Annie did not wake John up in the night and he didn't wake her up either. Turns out both of them can sleep through about anything. We all survived.

I can admit it: I cried on Saturday night when we finally went to bed and saw his little empty bassinet. I am crying now typing this. I have loved having my little guy right beside me, where I know he's safe and I can get to him in half a second. I know he's probably 25 feet away and I can get to him in 10 seconds if he needs me. I wasn't crying out of fear for him. I know he will be fine. I was crying because I know how this goes. That this move to his own room was the first of hundreds of acts of letting go that will happen for the rest of my life with these two babies. As much as I want to hold him as close as I can for as long as I can, I know that's not good for any of us.  So they move into the next room, into the next big kid bed, into the next school, into another house, but I hope they always know that I will always be right there if the need me.