Time travel

To the person that thought it was wise to bump the clocks forward or back two times a year, I say...


EFFFF YOOOOOUUUU!!!! (sorry Gaddy)


I remember when I was 24 and I was out at the bar at 3:00 in the morning (sorry Dad) one cold night in November and it was closing time. Then, like magic, it was all of a sudden 2:00 am again and we didn't have to go home. It was the closest I have ever come to time travel, which I normally hate. It was also the only time in my life I have appreciated the time change. Of course, I was cursing the time change inventors the next day as I slammed my double cheeseburger and super-sized fries in an effort to get rid of my hangover, but I digress.


So what I am trying to say is that I have never, while sober, liked the whole time change thing. And then, you add kids into the mix and it's like those time change inventors are actually wagging their middle fingers right in your face and saying, "Hey, glad you had that sleep schedule all worked out, but...better kiss that whole scene goodbye because now your kid's going to be waking up at 4:30 in the morning for the next five months until you finally get them to sleep until a semi-normal hour and just when you settle into a new routine, we'll change things up again and they will be up until all hours of the evening. We hate you. Good luck."


And since Annie's on a strict circadian rhythm sleep cycle and lives and dies (or sleeps and wakes) by if it is dark or light outside, I expect us to be doubly screwed. But because I am missing the part of my brain that can figure out if I am going to be early or late if I miss the time change (I assume this is the same part of my brain that cannot figure out how Marty McFly can both be in the parking lot of the mall in the Delorian as well as watching himself from a hill overlooking the mall parking lot), I can't ever anticipate exactly how I will be screwed by the time change. Should I start moving the bed time up for this change, or moving it back? Will we be up late or up early?


I also feel like we should be able to opt out of the change. Certain people should not have to comply. Specifically the change where we lose an hour (I think that's this one). I am already getting a max of six hours of sleep a night. The last thing I need is to lose an hour because of some arbitrary shift in the clocks likely decided to be a good idea 100 years ago by some childless drunks trying to figure out how they could plow the fields for an extra hour a day. I would gladly get up and harvest corn before the light of day rather than watch 15 episodes of Calliou before the sun even comes up.


But, it will happen. And until I run for President, there's not much that I can do about it. If anyone wants to call me any time to gripe about this, feel free. I am sure we'll be up.


Edited to add: If you really want to make your brain bleed, think about Indiana and how they don't acknowledge the time change. It is both brilliant and terrifying. How anyone ever knows what time it is around there is beyond me. Or do they always know? Seriously, I might have a stroke....