Thursday, March 28, 2013

Let's get on the same page

Yesterday Annie and I were driving to the grocery store and I was rambling on about lord knows what in an effort to avoid having to listen to the "FAIRIES!!!" (themesong from Secret of the Wings) song for the 15,756th time. The topic eventually ran around to Easter. I explained that Jesus died and rose again and Annie responded when prompted with "yeah" so I am sure she's 100% sure of the reason for the season.

Then I started to prep her for the easter egg/bunny situation. And I realized I also need prepping. Other parents: What's the story here? I realize the easter bunny comes and hides the eggs, but is he also responsible for the easter basket goodies? How do you explain the rows of easter swag in the store that end up in their baskets if humans are not involved? Or do we just ingore those rows completely while the children are with us? I clearly need to put a bit more thought into these things before I start spouting off because my description of Easter morning went a bit like this:

Me: Mommy and Daddy will get up and hide eggs from the Easter bunny. We also got you a basket full of treats!
Annie: TWEESSSH!
Me: Yep! And there will be TWEESH in the eggs too!
Annie: EGGSH!

So in this scenario we are apparently the egg middle man and the gift basket is from the bunny, which doesn't make any sense from an efficiency standpoint.  I don't think that's how it goes down in other houses and I need to make sure my story matches up with the masses. I have a feeling it doesn't. I have a feeling the EB is getting all the credit for both egg hiding and basket of tweesh. I am not sure how I feel about that. I mean, Santa already gets all the credit for the sweet Christmas presents. I don't know why we as parents so willingly hand over credit to mythical beings for our gifts we give our children and then get all the blame for lying to them for 10 years. Seems like a bad arrangement.

But, like I said, I will play ball here I just need to know the story. Who gives what? Is it bunny 100%? And while we are on topic, do you all give gifts from Santa and from parents? We have skated by these first few years because Annie had the attention span of a sparrow and didn't speak English. I think that ship has sailed.

I once read that a family gives their child three gifts from "Santa" because Jesus got three gifts. If they complain you drop the "so you think you deserve more than Jesus?" line. Genius.

I don't know if I am cut out for all of this. If Annie makes it to 3 and still believes in the Easter Bunny, that will be an Easter miracle.

Annie, if you are 7 and happen to read this, Santa and the Easter Bunny exists. Mommy's just confused.



Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My first Linkup. I am official now.



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I follow Holly's blog and she started this linkup where you answer new questions each week. The person with the funniest answers gets a $10 gift card. It's a short list of things I won't do for a gift card of any amount, so I figured why not? Plus, I feel rude reading everyone else's answers and not participating, so here goes.


1. If calories didn't count, I would eat...Cadbury Eggs. I currently eat them like calories don't count. Rick got me a case of 48 for valentine's day when I was pregnant. How I didn't develop gestational diabetes is beyond me.


2. On my Prom night....I wore a tight/short white lace dress, nude hose, white high heels (dyables that had not been dyed, natch) and a pearl choker. I looked like a hooker going to a christening.

3. When I go to the store, I always buy...french vanilla sugar free coffee creamer. We have a problem with consumption of this in our household. We have yet to figure out who is the culprit. HINT: It's Rick.

4. Family functions typically...are awesome. I love my family. And though this sounds sarcastic, it's not.

5. I think my blog readers...have a lot of time on their hands.

6. I'd much rather be.....on a beach having strong cocktails. In this scenario, I would not get a sunburn or a hangover, or sand in my perfectly fitting bikini and I would actually be able to relax and not check my phone compulsively the whole time.

7. I have an obsession with....checking my phone. I blame my outrageously slow computer at work. It takes like 90 seconds for a document to upload to an email so I have a habit of picking up my phone about every 4 minutes.

8. My work friends....don't exist. At least not at my current job. I am "the boss" in this office, so I don't fraternize with the help. I do have wonderful friends that I made at my previous place of employment, but I don't see them nearly enough.

9. When I created my Facebook account....it was to google stalk someone my brother went on a date with. I don't think he even knows this. He mentioned some gal, and since he never mentions any gals, I went to check her out. This thing called "Facebook" popped up in the search and the rest is history. Rick told me it was just for the college kids at the time. I should add here that I am what Rick calls a "Page 5 Stalker", meaning I go five pages deep on a google search when I am stalking someone on line. I corrected him to say that I go all the way until Google tells me there is no more. There's no sense in stalking someone half way. Few things make my stalker heart sing like when someone has relaxed privacy settings on their FB photos.

What were we talking about again? I think I have said too much.

10. My least favorite word is...f-a-r-t. Thanks, Mom.

11. I really don't remember....my 20s.

12. Justin Bieber....'s life story should be the sequel to "Boys Don't Cry" because I am not convinced he has male genitalia.





22 Months


Dear Annie,
As of Saturday, you are 22 months old. I think I got ahead of myself with the months a few months back, but we are back on track now. It is officially two months until you turn two. My head is about to explode with this fact.

I don't even know how to describe you these days. You are non-stop, unpredictable, loud, sweet, fast, tough and smart. You talk so much and have real-deal opinions. What we thought was a cute trick in teaching the seagulls to "GO AWAY!" has backfired. Big Time. You now yell this at us when we are doing something that you do not like. This, coupled with "Ahhh done!" lets you really get your point across.

You are in full swing toddler mode. You get into everything. You love something one minute, then act like it's scalding hot acid the next. You are a fairly picky eater but we are chipping away at it bit by bit. Last night you ate baked beans, which made me very happy. You have also been eating sweet potatoes, green beans and corn in addition to your steady diet of pasta and yogurt. And peanut butter. Also known as "butter". Oh how you love it. You consume it with zeal every morning, only to have to be decontaminated prior to delivery at Jen's (her youngest has a nut allergy).

You are in size 5 diapers now. You love to sit on the "toddy" (potty) but have only made one successful deposit thus far. I am not pushing it just yet because I just don't feel like you are quite ready. You are still loving the mimi (binkie) and your whammy (bunny) and have somehow accumulated quite a collection of stuffed friends in your bed; Nemo, Tinkerbell, and Dumbo are just a few of the usual suspects. In addition to your "bankie" and pillow. It's a miracle there's room for you in there.

As evidenced by your crib-mates, we might have been hitting the Disney a little too hard because you are now demanding all your clothes be "pitty" (pretty). There are some clothes that are obviously pretty, but others require a little more convincing. Thankfully you can be easily swayed if there is a dot of pink, a ruffle, or a flower on any item.

You don't like milk, you love your water, you've never really had juice, you like to pretend to each choc-it (chocolate) but are ambivalent about the real thing. Your favorite food of all time (for now) is goldfish crackers.


I wrote a few months back about our nightly routine and how sweet and snuggly it was. I should learn to not be so boastful on the internets because that has changed. It is now a bit of a power struggle. I set a two book limit and you end up making me read Go Train Go four times. Once the reading negotiations have completed, I try to get you into the seat for snuggling, but you squirm out and march around the room, in the dark, looking for any stray toys to play with. When I get serious about putting you in your crib, you sweetly ask for the "seat". For a few days you would ask that I held you like a baby, which I loved. But most nights you squirm and try to get up. When I have reached the end of my tether and say it's time for bed, you will collapse onto me and again say "SEAT!" and pretend to lay quietly for 5 seconds until it starts all over again. We have recently started a "count to 10" method where I ask if you are ready to count to 10 and then we will go to bed. We count very slowly (you skip seven) and then you know it's time for bed when we reach 10. I am not sure why this works, but if I could make sense of a toddler brain I would have eleventy billion dollars.

Years from now I want to remember how you proclaim "hoe you" (hold you) out of the blue when you want me to pick you up, how you think giving hugs is a game and how much I love it when the game runs on for an extended period of time. I want to remember how it was at 22 months when people (strangers) started saying how much you look like me (it's been all Dad up until this point). I want to remember how you evaluate everyone's plate at the dinner table and proclaim when each person is AHH DONE! You are overflowing with personality and we are so blessed to have you as our daughter.

I love you, sweet girl.

Mom

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Memorable Outing

Today was another Mommy/Annie day. As it was sunny (but freezing) and not raining, I figured we should get out of the house. I looked online and saw that there was story time at the newly remodeled downtown St. Louis Library. Rick had been wanting to check out the remodel so we met him at the museum and then headed over.

I had prepared discreet snacks to bribe Annie to remain seated and quiet. We spent the entire drive downtown talking about story time and that we needed to be still and listen. We were prepared.


Next time I will spend a little less time preparing and a little more time making sure we are at the right library.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Rules of Goodwill

Due to Sitter Jen's children's spring break, Annie and I have spent the last Friday and Monday together at home. And it was rainy and gross most of the weekend, so we were trapped indoors. When it was a moderately tolerable temperature yesterday afternoon, I decided we were going on an outing if it killed us. My original plan was to go scope out dining room tables (I want a new one) at Refind Room (cute name for a resale shop, no?).

They were closed.

So I decided on the 112th next best place....Goodwill.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Goodwill. I used to go there fairly regularly pre-Annie, but taking her in her current phase of lightning speed coupled with fierce independence seemed less than ideal. But I was apparently on a mission to buy something second hand.

We walked in and she was instantly taken with the rows and rows of clothes and racks and stacks of....things. There was a section of kids toys and I spotted a little toddler boy climbing off this gem:

And it looked just like this. Shiny and new and only $4!

As soon as toddler boy moved on to another ridey toy, I snatched this thing up and plopped Annie on it. She loved it. She scooted around Goodwill for a solid 23 seconds. I consider that a resounding endorsement for a toy when it comes to our dear Annie.

But as she's known to do, she would pop off the toy and go try to grab something else. It was at these times that the Goodwill vultures would start circling. In an awkward moment I had to pry toddler boy's hands off the worm all the while pleading with my eyes to his onlooking father to get this kid of MY INCHWORM! No dice. Apparently the Dad had collaborated with his son on a retrieval effort, because he was of no help.

An elderly woman tried to swipe it out from under me, quite literally. Like, my foot was resting on one of the wheels while I watched Annie rifle through a puzzle box that was missing about 125 of the 200 pieces. I put my hand down on it and explained nicely that we intended to purchase the worm.

Nerves frazzled, I hissed "MINE!" at a four year old girl who lingered a bit too long by The Worm.

And so it went for the next 15 minutes. If I so much glanced away from this worm, someone was all over it. It took me a while to learn that possession is 100% of the law in Goodwill. If you put it down, it's fair game. So when Annie made a mad dash for the back of the store while we were waiting in the checkout line, you bet your bottom dollar I grabbed that worm and ran after her. I didn't make it that far to lose The Worm to that Mom that was commenting on it's pristine condition in line behind us. No siree.

By the time Annie, Worm, and I made it to the cashier, I was sweating, my head was pounding and Annie had was now enthralled with the sparkling wares of the jewelry case as she hung upside-down from my arm (other arm holding Worm).

But we made it home with Worm and made it halfway down the block before Annie ditched it for a neighbor's toy car that had been abandoned on the sidewalk. If it ends up collecting dust, I plan on auctioning it off in the Goodwill parking lot to the highest bidder.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Happy Shopping

In an effort to keep from strangling my beloved husband for opting to not strap Annie into the race car seat in the shopping cart, I decided to focus on things that made me happy.
Pie on a stick. For the pie lover on the go. When you can't be bothered with a fork or a plate. And its on sale! Had Annie not had one leg swung over the side of the cart poised for her imminent demise, I would be the proud owner of these bad boys. And I would hate myself right now.


                                                    
Who didn't see this coming? Kimmy has always been one weekend food bender away from the husky section but she has managed to keep Major Chubs at bay. Until now. That dress also has to be the most unflattering design ever: party in the back, stay-puft in the front. The wrist cuff is very slimming though.

Of course she will probably lose it all in a month, which will be annoying. But until then, I look forward to watching her enjoy her new pregnancy physique. Keep those Pie Bars coming!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I'm Gonna Be Famous!!!!

Not really. But maybe.

Probably not.

You see, in addition to the throngs of people that read the blog via my mother's email distribution, there are exactly maybe 5 non-family members that read this blog. And one of them, Meghan, has nominated me for a blog award.

It's called a Liebster award (not to be confused with the Biebster). I would post the cute little graphic of the award, but I am such a budget blogger that I don't even know how to do that. Here's a description (copied from Meghan's website, who copied it from Jen, the gal who nominated her):
In Jen's words, it's "a networking tool for new bloggers, to recognize 'up and coming' bloggers with less than 200 followers. Liebster is a German word meaning: sweetest, kindest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome." I love that this little award recognizes the small blogger, the little stay-at-home mom who doesn't have a giant following, the writer who hasn't made it "big" in the blog world.

The rules are as follows:
1. Answer 11 questions that were posted by the person that nominated me.
2. List 11 random facts about myself.
3. Nominate 11 other bloggers with under 200 followers.
4. Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

Ok, here goes!

1. What makes you read a blog and/or follow?
They have to post things fairly regularly. And they have to be funny. Or amusing. Or post cool pics that make me feel bad about myself or my home. Isn't that what blogging is all about?
2. How long have you been blogging?
My goodness, this is strange to think about but it will be 3 years this summer. I started in July 2010 when I decided I no longer wanted to be a productive member of society. I have 15 legitimate followers to show for the three years of pouring my heart out here. Totally worth it.
3. What is your favorite dinner to make? Please post the recipe if you know it off the top of your head.
Um yeah. The only thing less impressive than my fabulous blog design skills is my prowess in the kitchen. So saying something is my favorite dinner to make is a bit of a stretch. But the thing that is my "go to" is pita pizza. You cut a pita in half (circular-wise, so it makes two circles. i feel dumber just typing this). Then you put marinara sauce on it, preferrably something that has been in the fridge for so long that the expiration date is no longer visible. Then you top with cheese. And bake until the cheese is melted. Or if you don't have cheese, you still bake it but then dip it in ranch dressing, also of questionable age. If you are having the President of the United States over for dinner, you can put veggies or pepperoni on it to class it up a bit.

Too bad Meghan didn't ask about what's the most embarrassing thing I ever wrote about on my blog, because that would be it.

4. Do you know - or have you met anyone famous?
My husband is kind of famous. Or he's a pretty big deal to me. He's the Director of City Museum and gets asked to speak at things and is in the news and paper every so often. But as far as real famous people, like US Weekly famous, I met Steven Tyler once. And I saw Ann Hathaway in the airport, though I tried to play it cool and didn't talk to her. We ran into Dave Chapelle in a bar in Miami.

This is starting to feel like a cry for help.

5. Do you get along with your parents? One better then the other?
I am what some would think is a little too close with my mom and dad. I talk to my mother pretty much every morning on my way to work. My Dad picks up some mornings and we chat as well. They know more about me than they should.

6. Besides your spouse and kids, what is one of the biggest blessings in your life?
Yeeps. This is hard to quantify. I think I have lived a blessed life. I had/have parents who were loving, caring, and provided for us. I have four siblings that are all hilarious and crazy in their own wonderful ways. I have travelled and lived in tons of different places and met lots of interesting people (not famous, see #4) and made lots of friends. I had a wonderful education, I have a good job, and I can't think of a whole lot of things I really want that I don't already have. I have blessings coming out the butt.


7. Do you have any pets? Give 'em some love, tell us about them.
My dog died, Meghan. While I was pregnant. His name was Bexar (pronounced Bear). Thanks for bringing it up. Just when I was starting to feel good about myself after #7.

8. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Somewhere by the ocean. I would even settle for a lake or large body of water. I have this vision of spending evenings with my family on the beach, eating dinner and running in the ocean until the sun sets and heading home, tired and a little sunburned with sand in our hair. Annie would learn to surf and could ride a skateboard without cracking her head open and life would be grand. You know, not so different from life in St. Louis.

9. When was the last time you peed the bed?
I actually have dreams that I pee the bed quite frequently, if you must know. But I would have to ask my mom the last time it happened. I think I resolved this issue fairly quickly, so maybe when I was 3-4?

10. List 5 of your biggest pet peeves.
1). People that hold grudges
2). People that don't use their blinker
3). People that high-five all the time
4). Movies about time travel
5). The woman in my office building that insists on placing toilet paper on the seat of the toilet and then leaves it there when she finishes her business. I will find you.

11. List 5 of your favorite bloggers.
1). Debbie with Team Botanical
2). Meghan with Better Late than Never
3). Petunia Face
4). sKIDmarks
5). Hyperbole and a Half (i don't think she posts any more but she is freaking hilarious)

Ok, now I think I am supposed to list 11 random facts about myself:
1). I hate pulling cotton balls apart. Rick has to fish them out of new medicine bottles for me.
2). At any given point I have bruises or tender spots on my face from Annie head butting me.
3). All four of my front teeth are fake and I still have one baby tooth.
4). Rick and I knew each other (and flirted) in college but didn't date until 6 years after we graduated.
5). I move my feet so much in my sleep that I wear a hole in the sheets about every 18 months.
6). I eat at least one apple a day.
7). I cannot stress how much I hate movies with time travel. They make no sense. And I also hate My Cousin Vinny. Seriously, how could they not figure out those dudes weren't the murderers? I walked out of the theater. I also walked out of Phenomenon, but for different reasons. Those are the only two movies I have ever walked out of on my own accord.
8). I love going to movies by myself.
9). I swore I would never get a Kindle, but then I won one (see, so blessed!) and now I am addicted.
10). I have never smoked a cigarette.
11). I hate pumpkin and pecan pies.

Now for the 11 questions:
1). Why did you start blogging?
2). If you could do any job other than the one you currently have, what would you do?
3). You can travel anywhere, regardless of expense, without your kids, where would you go?
4). Same as #3, but with the kids.
5). What's the most embarassing thing you have written about on your blog?
6). To which Sesame Street character do you most relate?
7). What is your favorite holiday and why?
8). What is one food you will never eat?
9). Tell us a little bit about your family (siblings, parents, in-laws, etc).
10). If you could spend 48 hours with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and what would you do?
11). Would you rather have to shop only at 7-11 for the next six months, or relive a socially awkward moment every day for the next month?

And I am nominating TEAM BOTANICAL!
(I would nominate more, but I am a bit of a blog shut-in and wouldn't even know who else to nominate)



Travels Well-21 months

We survived the Great Winter Escape of 2013. Yes, it was postponed a day, but we tacked an extra day onto the end, which ended up being excellent as our last full day had the best weather of our whole trip. Unfortunately, Rick's birthday, my Dad's birthday, and Annie's 21 month birthday all slipped by while we were on vacation. You do not rush to find a computer and bang out a blog whilst on vacation. I am pretty sure that's illegal. Here's a post about what you DO do (heh, do-do) on vacation:

You pick tart little oranges from Big Daddy's tree. Then you throw them into the ocean because they FLOAT.


You drink beer (or your parents drink it and give you the bottle) 


And eat huge gobs of ice cream....


...and have birthday cake for breakfast.
You explore...
....and dump sand into a metal bowl of standing water despite your mother's protests against this act (stagnant water really grosses me out).
You go to the beach in sweet ass goggles because the wind is blowing so hard that you need them to protect your eyes. But you will be so excited about the beach that you don't care about the goggles, even when they fog completely over. You open your mouth very wide as you stand in front of the ocean, and try to breathe in everything, including all the blowing sand. None of this will bother you. You make your grandfather's day by proving to be a total "beach baby".

You chase seagulls all over the beach while yelling "go AWAY!", because being bossy is just what we do.


You meet all your fabulous blog followers.
More on this: yes, Annie is actually famous in Orange Beach. I thought my mother was just trying to flatter me by telling me that all her friends love hearing about Annie and reading the blog. Well, turns out, she wasn't lying. Mom and Dad threw a party on Sunday as a sort of "meet and greet" with Annie as the guest of honor. She was photographed within an inch of her life by all and she loved every minute of it. As a result, I am also a bit of a celebrity and was referred to fairly regularly as "the one with the blog". I will try not to let this new found fame go to my head. Expect pop-ups and sponsors any day now.

We are back to reality now and it stinks. I miss slow mornings on the deck eating bacon and endless cups of coffee. I miss seeing my parents with their granddaughter. Annie misses eating goldfish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But now that we have seen how wonderful it is down there with Annie, I am sure we will be back soon. I think her followers will demand it.